When Life Gives You Lemons

 

... make lemonade. Or one of my favorites via my sister (circa 1998), stuff them in your bra. 

Whatever you choose to do with your lemons, the point is making something sweet out of something sour. It often takes me a little while of sucking on sour lemons to recognize the potential for something sweet. This weekend, I made some proverbial lemonade. 

It snowed in Charlotte for the first time in 2 years on Saturday. It just happened to start blizzarding while my mom and I were on the road, headed out for a nice afternoon. In the South, we don't handle snow very well. There aren't enough plows, they don't typically salt the roads and people just generally aren't used to driving in the stuff. So, to be safe we changed our plans and headed home.

On our way back into my parent's neighborhood we saw a group of very excited children sledding during the snow storm. Remember, these are kids that go years without seeing/playing in the snow. Their joy was contagious. 

Instead of sulking about our change of plans, I put on the Pandora holiday station and my mom and I baked Christmas cut outs and whipped up some hot cocoa. We made our own white Christmas in the middle of February.

 

Life threw us a small lemon, and we were able to squeeze out a bit of lemonade. Fast forward to the next day, and making lemonade didn't come quite as easy. 

My sister (and her family) and my parents are both currently house hunting. We went to visit prospective houses for each of them. Both are lucky enough to be looking at total dream homes.

My parents and my sister and brother-in-law work very hard and are generous people. They've earned the excitement that surrounds picking out their future homes and will undoubtedly make all who enter feel warm and welcomed.

There was something sour though, about returning to our humble abode after touring such big beautiful houses. It wasn't quite jealousy, because I feel genuine happiness for my family members. It was more a mixture of self doubt combined with a laser beam focus on all of the things that I'd like to change about our home.

I'd love to say that this was a fleeting feeling, but that would be a lie. So, the quote below is just as much of a reminder for myself as I hope it will be for you.

Sometimes (read most of the time) we don't have everything that we desire. I'm making an effort to remember that pining over high ceilings and hard wood floors pales in comparison to what many others might have on their hearts and minds right now. 

When I try to look for the sweet, I notice that this home we've made for ourselves ain't so bad after all. The living room has really gorgeous morning light and there's a big ol' bathtub for me to soak away all of my troubles. 

In reality, our house was once something we could have only dreamed of. The best part, we made our house into a home together.

Do you ever struggle with comparing yourself to others? 

What helps you snap out of it and become more aware of the sweet stuff in your life?

Under the Weather

Writing this post from bed on my ipad. A pretty ugly stomach bug has been having its way with me for the past day and a half. One of the worst I've ever had. Trying to remind myself that this too shall pass and I'm looking to my yogi tea for some inspiration.

We are heading out of town on vacation soon, so I'm hoping that this doesn't find its way to my husband.

Seems like this has really been going around - so wash your hands and keep your distance from sickos like me.

The Power

Some words of encouragement to round out the week from "The Wizard of Oz" (the film that gave way to the name of this here blog).

I've been holding myself back from working on a few areas of my life that could use my attention. Playing the excuses game as to why I can't move forward with something that means a lot to me - when the truth is, I possess everything I need to take the leap. 

Sometimes we create unneccesary road blocks. I think we fear how strong and capable we actually are. I'm working on getting out of my head and moving towards what I want to accomplish.

Do you ever have trouble getting out of your own way?



Time to Readjust

I started my day off in a less than ideal fashion. I was tired from a disagreement that Jake and I had last night. We stayed up late talking and I went to bed feeling pretty drained.

I chose to wake up earlier than normal to get a jump on the day ahead. I gave myself plenty of time to get ready and to take a nice long shower. By the time I headed out the door I was feeling in control.

That is, until I got on the highway and sat in stand-still traffic, which resulted in my lateness to work. The elevator was broken in my parking garage (laaaate). Lunchtime rolled around and I realized I had left my lunch in the car (I park a few blocks away from my office).

At this point I started feeling sorry for myself. Tell me you know the feeling. "Today sucks" is what I told my sorry little self. It was noon and I was already resigned to the fact that the entire day was shot. I've heard the old adage about not letting yesterday take up too much of today -- but what about letting a few insignificant events in the morning determine your outlook for the rest of the day.

I wanted so badly for the day to be different, and that's kind of where it clicked. The day can be different. A lot of stuff is totally out of our control, but the way that we react to those happenings is actually a choice that we are given.
We do have a say.

My brain tends to laser focus on the negative. Thinking positively and handling conflict in a healthy way is something that I have to continuously work on, it does not come natural to me. But, there is hope for me yet. You see, I married a very patient and understanding man - and I consciously work on my attitude. It's all about readjusting. It's knowing that even if you just snapped at someone you love, or overreacted to something small, you still have a choice to move forward with a fresh attitude. The day, or project, or trip, or night out doesn't have to be wasted on negativity.

One of the many reasons I love having a blog, I get to preach and blabber on about things that I really need to learn how to do myself. Thanks for letting me vent.

Do you have any methods for turning that frown upside down?

Thoughts on Negativity

Lately I have felt pulled in 1,000 different directions. I spend a lot of time worrying about the areas of my life that could use more of my attention, more of me.

Even though I know it is wrong, I always seem to let the negative voices take over. You know the voices that I am referring to, right? The ones that tell you that your best is not good enough. The ones that hold on to the negative and hurtful things that others say about you, but are quick to forget a genuine compliment from a friend.

Just when I think that I have everything under control the voices start to creep in.

Why is it that we are able to offer forgiveness and understanding to others but not to ourselves? Aren't we deserving of the same level of empathy that we would extend to a friend or loved one?
 

If you have been feeling at all like I have lately, promise me that you will try to be kind to yourself. I've come to realize how difficult it is to give fully to others, to nurture relationships that matter, without first nurturing oneself.

via

 

Yellow

During our trip to say our goodbyes to my grandpa, Jake and I took an evening drive to a gorgeous field of sunflowers that went on as far as the eye could see.

Everywhere that we went, there were little signs that we believe were sent from my grandpa. I felt very connected to him standing in that field. Without going into too many details, he had suffered a long illness, so his death was accompanied by a sense of peace. We can't help put feel relief for him, knowing that he is free.

We witnessed something sacred when the sun set over that field, casting a warm yellow glow. It was as if my inner-most feelings and memories of my grandpa were being displayed before our eyes.

Some back story: My grandpa had a somewhat strange, yet funny love for Leann Rimes. When her first single came out he asked for the CD and would play "Blue" for anyone that would listen. He couldn't get over the fact that she was 14 and only a little bit older than his granddaughters. 

When we pulled onto the road to drive away, sunflower field in the rear-view mirror, I turned up the radio to hear "Blue" coming from the speakers. I wouldn't believe that it had actually happened, if I didn't have Jake sitting next to me with his mouth hanging open, since I had just told him that morning about how my grandpa loved to play that song.

The Tallest Tree

 

This past week, I drove up the east coast with my parents to Syracuse, N.Y. to visit my grandma as she underwent chemotherapy. 

Our trip was peppered with reminders of how much our family has changed in recent years. Some of our most sharp and quick-witted family members moved at a slower pace. Loved ones that once were at the top of our list to visit, were no longer there. It seemed at every turn, was a reminder to not take my youth, health or life for granted.

My parents both grew up in Syracuse, but my family moved away when I was nine - so, most of my memories there are from my early childhood. After visiting my grandpa in the nursing home, my mom took me for a drive past the house that we lived in when I was born.

My mom seemed taken aback when she saw the large plum tree that engrossed the entire front of my parent's first home together, "I just remembered - we planted that tree when you were born. Dad and I both talked about bringing you back here someday to see how much it had grown".

This trip was a clear example for me of the brevity of life and the mark that time leaves on each of us as we age. Yet, I found comfort there, staring up at that sprawling plum tree...  Even during the toughest times (perhaps, especially during hardships) there is always opportunity for growth.

The Things that Keep Us Up at Night

So much is weighing on my mind lately. I wake up in the middle of the night - fists and jaw tightly clenched. This is when I visualize my happy place. A moment in time when everything was in its right place.

I find myself in Hawaii at dusk on the beach with my brand new husband. Sunburns radiating heat, snarly salty hair from a day of swimming in the ocean. Stomachs full from gorging ourselves on shrimp tacos and shaved ice. We sit perched on a stone wall watching the sun set over surfers trying to catch a last wave before nightfall. 

So much uncertainty stretched out before us.

I go there in my mind from time to time. I imagine us returning someday. Wrinkled hands holding each others' in an old familiar way. Laughing to ourselves about all of the worrying that we did. 

How funny, we thought that we could control the things that kept us up at night.

Be Here Now

The photo above was taken during one of the best days that I can remember in recent time. A hike through the woods with my husband and dog. We took the time to slow down and really see one another. 

So much of my life lately has been consumed by what is to come, that I am easily distracted from appreciating what I have now. There are many things that I want... But, what I have now is worth celebrating.

I easily fall prey to the, "Where do I see myself in five years from now?" pitfall. Sure, it is important to plan - but simply existing and being present is invaluable to one's spirit.

One of my favorite scholars on the importance of living in the present is Eckhart Tolle. Specifically, I find the below words of his to be a very powerful reminder:

"If the thought of lack – whether it be money, recognition, or love – has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack. Rather than acknowledge the good that is already in your life, all you see is lack.

No matter what you have or get, you won't be happy. You will always be looking for something else that promises greater fulfillment, that promises to make your incomplete sense of self complete and fill that sense of lack you feel within.

 Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” -Eckhart Tolle A New Earth

I hope that this wisdom will implant itself in my stream of consciousness. I want to make a real effort not only to speak or hear this school of thought, but to live it.



Do you have any advice or words of wisdom on how you have been able to live in the now?